Hello again,
i think i solved my Problem and all the misery i got with the newer version beyond 2.23.02.
My Story with Deconz, Zigbee2Mqtt and all that comes with that
So what happend meantime: i was running my System on 2.23.02 since my last post and everything was good untill one night in january 2025 everything broke down. i woke up to a system with no responce and a lot of errors in the log - the conbee II was completly unreachable, even after replugging and rebooting the whole docker. there was nothing i could do to make it work again and i did a lot because almost everything was controlled with deconz. i had not changed a thing on the system for weeks when this was happening. my thought was that maybe this is a pretty bad interferences with a 2,4ghz Wifi of one of our neighbors, but without a directional antenna there is not much you can do at this point. So I started changing Zigbeechannels and my Wifi Channels and did everything for almost 2 days and could not get the system back to a normal running state nothing worked reliable - i went on and loaded a backup i did in september 2024 but log was flooded with many errors like this:
Errors
15:47:23:136 0x001788010CDB2D53 error APSDE-DATA.confirm: 0xD0 on task
15:47:44:132 delay sending request 149 dt 1 ms to 0x9035EAFFFED48B24, ep: 0x02 cluster: 0x0004 onAir: 1
15:47:47:834 max transmit errors for node 0x00158D0002CAC7C2, last seen by neighbors 117 s
15:49:10:708 0x0017880102874F18 error APSDE-DATA.confirm: 0xE9 on task
15:49:11:620 0x001788010245B1B1 error APSDE-DATA.confirm: 0xE1 on task
15:49:15:397 0x0017880102874880 error APSDE-DATA.confirm: 0xE9 on task
15:49:16:230 0x0017880102ECDD56 error APSDE-DATA.confirm: 0xE9 on task
15:49:18:092 0x0017880109028E75 error APSDE-DATA.confirm: 0xE9 on task
15:49:26:880 0x0017880102F18557 error APSDE-DATA.confirm: 0xE1 on task
Thats just for example i got this errors nearly every minute and the system was not responsive at all. after all tries i got pretty frustrated because i couldnāt get it fixed so i bought a sonoff zigbee gateway of amazon and started the next attempt with Zigbee2Mqtt.
This time i know i dont have a backup solution i could get back to if somethings not right so i started the whole process of resetting als of my 125 Sensors and putting them into Z2M - but that was just half of the work. I started to replace every datapoint in all automation i built in my iobroker to the datapoints of Z2M and even with most alias datapoints that make it way more easy not to change every datapoint in every script it took me two days till everything was configured to work again. There are little differences in the datapoints and groups and the way they work between Deconz and Z2M that make it pretty hard just to replace. So i had to rewrite most of my scripts and did backups of the old ones - little did i know i would need those sooner than i thought.
At this point everything was pretty good and my wife did not kill me even it took a whole week to use the lights right again, but then i decided to do a firmware upgrade on the sonoff dongle - spoiler: its right when they say never change a running system.
So if people think a firmware update with GCflasher on conbee is hard to do, try to do that on a sonoff Gateway!!! it took me a whole day to figure it out right, because there are so many instruction on the internet saying so many things. After updating the firmware putting the stick back in starting the Z2M Docker on my Server andā¦nothing - the docker would no start again. i checked the config and look in every post and finally found out what was going on. All the informations about the Zigbeenetwork and everything is stored in the config of Z2M so are the networkkeys and everything that is connected to that, everything is bound to that gateway it was set up with. My problem now was that my gateway was set to stock during the flashing of the firmware and in easy words, Zigbee2Mqtt expected my old gateway that matches the old stored information and my gateway with new firmware comes and says hey iām the new guy, Zigbee2Mqtt doesnāt say hey i know you come in and do your job, it says cool but we already have a coordinator. i locked myself out of my freshly set up Zigbee network 
after ton of research i couldnāt find a way to solve this problem and found myself in the same situation without a working Zigbee network.
At this point i was pretty pissed at Z2M and i decided if i had to rebuild the whole network again - I would give deconz another chance, because i never rebuilt that whole network, I always restored backups. With that in mind I set up a new docker running the latest stable version and got to work. A day of work later I was done setting everything up and naming it right, putting all lights into groups and so on. The next day I started restoring my backup scripts in iobroker to get things running. luckily half of them where with alias datapoints the just needed to be set to the right path again, but everything like switches for groups or any_on datapoints had to be changed manual because every group, light, sensor, you name it had different datapointnumbers than before.
Everything was running but again my system began to get unresponsive and laggy, My thoughts on that ok , that did not solved my issues of the past, but all in all i got lights and sensors working - Solution back to my Zigbee safespace 2.23.02.
My System was Running on 2.23.02 again but i noticed that something changed.
Everything was responsive as always but i got some kind of ābugs/glitchesā or interference in my system. This time lights randomly turned on and it doesnāt matter whether its day or night and i could not find a pattern and i didnāt understood why. It was like the lights where restarting or face kind of powerloss. i first āsolvedā this behavior by changing the setting StartUp OnOff in deconz of every light that turned on randomly. After quiet a while of playing that game with the light i noticed all the hue lights i got behave rock solid all the time, and there was my pattern - All lights that had shown this behavior where lights of the company MĆ¼ller-Licht, 30 of my 125 Devices where devices of MĆ¼ller-Licht. Livingroom | 20 white Gu10, Bathroom | 4 white Gu10, Kitchen | 1 white E27 and 2 white E14 and outside there where 3 color Gu10 for ambientlighting.
I started this is all pretty central in the middle of my whole network, what if the abilty to route is not how it should be with all this devices, maybe they crash and reboot because they could not handle this like they should - causing all that problems. I told my wife my supposition and said hey i want to spend over 400ā¬+ replacing that 24x Gu10 +2x E14 + 1x E27 in the center of our network with Hue lights, even if i donāt know if it solves our problems. Spoiler: that almost killed me 
after some hours of talking she agreed because she was set up with the light doing its own thing and turning on randomly. We got the lights 2 days after and replaced all of the lights mentioned before. I then restarted the docker and let the network set - from that point on the issues of the past days where gone.
The network was running for 2 month like that and got a reboot once and everything reconnected pretty good with no dropoff. 3 days ago i thought about the past attempts the get the system updated and wondered if the lights that where replaced were the reason for all that lags in the newer versions. I then did an upgrade to the latest beta version 2.29.02 and got it running for a day. facing the issue that all battery devices like switches and contacts where not responding anymore. but the rest was running without any lags - i switched the docker version to stable and the system is running for 2 days now on version 2.28.1 with no lags, no dropoffs and no heavy loads on the docker.
So it seems that this is my solution - matching proverb to this: One rotten apple spoils the whole basket in my case there where many rotten ones.
btw i kept the sonoff gateway and put on a new Z2M Docker because i canāt deny that the function to upgrade firmware of hue devices is so easy and helpful.
thanks again to the developer for making everything as easy and functional as possible and to @Mimiix for trying to assist at solving problems of the community
have a nice day everyone